I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
