hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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