I can't watch pbs sober anymore
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
