can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
