Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize