Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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