Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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