turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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