wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
