Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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