I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
