They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
whose parrot is this?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
