I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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