Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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