I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
