i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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