just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
