woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
