im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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