I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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