friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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