umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
