He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
My life is pants optional.
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