so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
