So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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