At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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