Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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