I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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