did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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