Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
