Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
