I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize