He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
