Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
time to smoke my breakfast
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
