So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
