He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Randomize
