I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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