Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Randomize
