absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
