i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
