it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize