everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize