Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
