You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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