But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
