So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
