There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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