dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize