i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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