Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
