Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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