I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Randomize
