thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
