we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
