Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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