So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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