i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
