Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Welp...herpes.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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