Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
COCAINE IS GR8
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