i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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