Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
This toilet bowl is my home.
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