Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
